when I seek creativity. Blood rushes to my head and the world gets dark. The tranquil painting with the blue sky now becomes a Salvadore Dali. The buddha hand gesture of the Vitarka Mudra looks violent and cruel. And the once cheerful plant becomes Audrey from The Little Shop of Horrors.
Suddenly the world is sinister and my soul seethes alive. It's darkness that fuels the freeing of my mind. This darkness ignites creative bliss and an ignorance the judgment. But it's fleeting. I need it to permeate through my pores. It doesn't listen. Instead it sits stifled and constipated, withering inside of me under the muck of my superficial self.
But I stand on my head to shake it out.
Thursday
Friday
Authenticity
Authenticity is something I strive for on the web but don’t always get it right. Some people don’t have any problems finding their true voice on the web but for me it’s not that easy. It’s a mental hurdle that I’m working on.
For example, my parents recently celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary. My husband’s parents are getting a divorce after 41 years of their marriage. This shifts my perspective on marriage. My husband came from a solid, loving family. What caused his dad to suddenly want a divorce from his wife of 41 years? Plenty of secrets hide in marriages. This was a shock to us all.
I recently posted a Facebook update congratulating my parents anniversary. It said “happy 41st wedding anniversary to my amazing parents!” What I really wanted to say was, “Marriage is a crazy institution. My parents somehow made it work when the odds are slim. I’m not as fucked up as I could be. Thanks mom and dad!” For some reason the simple “happy anniversary” sounded less cynical. How do you overcome the barriers of authenticity without sounding fake? And how do you focus on the positive, when there’s so much pain in the world?
For example, my parents recently celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary. My husband’s parents are getting a divorce after 41 years of their marriage. This shifts my perspective on marriage. My husband came from a solid, loving family. What caused his dad to suddenly want a divorce from his wife of 41 years? Plenty of secrets hide in marriages. This was a shock to us all.
I recently posted a Facebook update congratulating my parents anniversary. It said “happy 41st wedding anniversary to my amazing parents!” What I really wanted to say was, “Marriage is a crazy institution. My parents somehow made it work when the odds are slim. I’m not as fucked up as I could be. Thanks mom and dad!” For some reason the simple “happy anniversary” sounded less cynical. How do you overcome the barriers of authenticity without sounding fake? And how do you focus on the positive, when there’s so much pain in the world?
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